Stories

Nova Article, November 2008

Julieanne Hilbers

  • "The sun had yet to rise as I made my way out my swag to stir the embers of the communal fire - watching it take light anew. As I put the porridge on to cook I look up and am greeted by a sea of pink soft clouds fanning across the sky in a 'V' formation all the way to where the sun is birthing over the horizon. My whole body smiles. I stand and watch as the clouds change colour and the birds sing to the women to gently awaken them.

    This was the last morning at camp where I and twenty others had participated in Desert Women's Business with the women custodians of the land near Uluru. As I stood there my body was flooded by the warmth of the sun, the joy of community and the love of the land.

    This was my fifth time attending these desert Business. Each one, different yet sharing the same essence of women, tradition, community, land and spirit. I always feel so honoured at having spent time with these elders, who shared their traditions and wisdoms born of generations of learning and living on the land.

    I first found out about the Desert Women's Business at a time when my heart was grieving deeply. I remember flying into Alice Springs looking out at the plane window at the red dirt and a smile came to my face. I could not keep from gazing at it, even while the many women who had come along were getting to know each other on the bus on the way to the Business. I was completely enraptured. The woman I sat next to turned to me at one point and said that the land was happy to see me too. My heart rejoiced at hearing this. For too long I had been city bound but now I could see the many paintings I would visit in the galleries back in Sydney before me.

    I have learnt much about traditional Aboriginal ways during these gatherings. I like many women were a little in awe of and even a little scared of the elders at first. I spent much of that first gathering simply sitting on the red dirt, watching the women sharing their sacred dances, listening to their songs or on the outer edge of the camp watching the ants busy at work. I was joyous at driving back to Yulara in a troopie with an Aboriginal family and spent time playing with the children.

    At my second gathering I sat with the women as they painted and carved.

    During the third gathering we were taken to a sacred site that left many of the women crying with joy, the energy was so beautiful.

    Sorry business engulfed the fourth gathering. I spent much of my time connecting with the non indigenous women who came: hearing their stories and appreciating their gifts.

    The fifth gathering we revisited sacred sites, many women again overcome with emotions.

    It is as if each journey is blessed. The journey to and from Desert Women's Business seems to wrap me a bubble where everyone I meet and everything that happens does so with perfect unity. Even the challenging bits which always in retrospect seems to simply reflect where I am at.

    The women elders are the senior lore women of the lands around Uluru. Despite all the injustices they have experienced as a group, they share with an open heart. Desert Women's Business is vital for them, it keeps them healthy and connected. They share that it helps to keep their culture strong. Many of the women are elderly and have chronic health problems. Yet to see them dance in their full power is profound. They come alive and shine. I feel the same happens for those of us who are continually drawn back time and time again: each time we meet we step further into our power.

    This level of ceremonial interaction is rare and these Business have allowed a collective healing to happen: healing of past hurts and injustices between indigenous and non indigenous communities. The trust that has been built over the gatherings has led to deeper and deeper sharing by the elders of their Business, sacred sites and stories.

    There has been so much learning. I have learnt that each woman comes at a different point in her life yet gains what she most needs. For some it is spending time with the elders. Others it is spending time with the land. It might be another reflecting our current challenges or by a healing word or action shared while cooking, collecting wood, squabbling, laughing, grieving, singing or dancing.

    Many of the women who came had not had the opportunity to camp before. Sitting on the earth was new and some find it challenging. There was lots of learning for these women about the basics of life: about how to toilet in the bush, collect wood, pack a troopie and how to survive on 10 litres of water for five days. It intimately connects the women to the land and with water.

    Women are asked not to bring their own traditions or cultures. It is a time to simply appreciate the ancient culture that has been singing and dancing up the land for eons. It is a time to witness and give thanks to this culture for protecting and honouring the earth. And to learn from their wisdoms so that we too can be good custodians for the future.

    Many of my work colleagues have been Aboriginal. From them I heard of their experience of the endless cycle of grief that surrounds their communities. I became even more aware of this at the desert Business. But also the power of 'sorry business' to support people to deal with this grief.

    The women ask that "we come with no feelings, no thoughts, no opinions, that we come 'empty', in order to be totally present and behave as is requested of us with deep respect for what is being shared." This form of learning is more subtle than what most I have experienced in the past. Rather than being given a program with a time and activity we simply wait until the time is right for the next thing to unfold. Desert Women's Business have taught me much about non attachment, to have no expectations. For what happens can change in a moment. To simply trust and receive what is offered up.

    What is always nurturing is the songs of the women. Their singing seems to hold us all in a cocoon. After five days I feel that these songs seep deep into my bones. And for days after Desert Women's Business I still hear their songs call me.

    I spend much of my time simply meditating with the earth. It is different out in the desert - the endless mind chatter ceases and I enter into a 'no mind' space where I am better able to follow the rhythms of the earth. In sitting quietly with the land intense energy greets me and guides me. At night my dreams are filled with clarity. But interestingly it is often the first dreams after leaving the desert that seem to share the most.

    The plane trips to and from always provide me with an understanding of the bigger landscape we are part of. For the fourth Desert Women's Business though I drove from Sydney to Yulara and was struck by the devastation man had wrecked upon the earth. Trees removed, the earth dug up and left in piles. I could feel distress all around me. This was in contrast to the land where Desert Women's Business was held. I could feel the difference - it was not disturbed. It was happy and well. We were asked not to take anything from the land, no sticks, stones or soil. They belonged to the land. This taught me more about seeing the sacred in everything. It made me mindful of every action, whether it was what I said to another or sitting in silence while witnessing the elders during Desert Women's Business.

    We are also given the opportunity to be taught the dances and the stories of the dance. I would sit in stillness as my breasts are painted, often needing to quell my judgement of others who could not seem to stop their endless chatter. It always serves as a reminder of how so few of us get to experience sacred Women's Business and feel comfortable in such spaces. To feel the earth beneath my feet as I dance towards the elders and my sistas gathered at the end of the Desert Women's Business area is like a welcome back to family.

    The importance of Desert Women's Business has now taken hold of me. I now work with others to hold space for 'sacred' gatherings. Such a space feels more potent and powerful than most gatherings. Each time I spend time this way I am able to share more and more from an open hearted space.

    Not everyone makes it each time. It is as if the land calls the right people it needs each time. There are those who do not come but connect in with the Business through the song lines within the earth from other places. I feel the collective energy generated at Desert Women's Business, makes the land happier and healthier. This allays my fears of the earths' resources I have consumed to make the journey there.

    In the past I have often felt a sense of separation at community gatherings. But at this one, I have always felt part of the ONE. My desert sistas are dear to my heart. It is always such a delight seeing a desert sista back in Sydney, especially an elder who may have come to perform or exhibit their art.

    Participating in Desert Women's Business is a very grounded spiritual experience. I always walk away feeling full of love, completely accepted and present. This is true healing at the deepest of levels."

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